My feelings..

I'm happy now I think, but at the same time my lack of confidence is visiting me. I really want to be perfect, I want people think I'm beautiful and worth loving. I try to tell myself that I'm okay, I'm not ugly, but it doesn't help me. And if someone says I'm looking good, I laugh, I laugh because I can't take compliments, can't take them for real, because I don't think so myself. I think that sometimes I might look good in pictures, but in real life, in front of the mirror, I can't se anything that is looking good. All I see is a pale face and dry hair, I see I'm not thin enough, my hands are to big, my eyes are not even, my noce is big, my mouth isn't straight, I look bad in my piercings, but even worse* when taking them off..

And no, I'm not begging you to come and give me lies to make me feel better, I just had to write this because I want you guys to understand that right now I'm not feeling that well, I want to beg you for understanding that right now I'm a boring person because of my lack of confidence in myself.

But I can tell you that I'm happy for one thing (even if it makes me feel very unconfident to). I'm kind of looking foreward to this weekend, but I don't look foreward to tomorrow when I have to talk to my mother about this weekend.. haha.. Hope she's okay with it, this is important to me!

Well... now I'll go and talk some more with my lovely friend My (link to her blog on the side ->).

Peace out, F R E D

*happy now Hector?!